Thursday, May 24, 2012

The scenery in my head just got worse

A friend sent me this article on a new vaginal (actually vulva to be precise) bleaching cream and my jaw dropped with the whole idea of PROMOTING vaginal bleaching. Can you imagine what that stuff would do to your pH let alone that very sensitive epidermal layer? [shudder].

Woman: "Does this cream make my flaps look white?"
Man: "NO, but this one will!" ZiiiP!!

Holy F*K!  (get it? You know - white=purity..umm...ahem...(cough))

Indian freak show ringmaster: "Come on and see our freaky albino pussy...oh sooree...I read dat wrong....correction... See and come on our freaky albino pussy!"

And let's face it - men don't spend a lot of time looking at it. They're built for fun, not photography.

However she has a point about the turkey giblets. When a woman says her man makes her laugh - I promise after a few years of marriage she's not talking about his jokes.  [cue Puppetry of the Penis- the only thing men will do to theirs is draw a face on it ...and visa versa]

Girls do a lot of stupid things to draw attention to their fannies but if you have to rub it with a chemical cocktail to make your man notice you own one then you're probably with the wrong guy....or he's not really a guy...ya know what I mean... like that comment guy, Armit, who doesn't like the real fruity odour of women - yes we get a bit festy but he should try things from our angle.

You know, the cream probably does not whiten anything - I'm betting it has a little bit of stimulant in it and the instructions say, "Massage cream in thoroughly as many times a day as you like and immediately you will become more attractive to your partner." [oh GOD! The scenery in my head just got worse]


STOPPPPP!!!
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....Why is there coffee splattered all over my monitor?

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