Friday, April 29, 2011

Well meaning but...

When people say to me, "Drive safe, take care, don't do anything I wouldn't do!"
I have an overwhelming desire to break the motorbike speed record wearing nothing but a leather g-string.  Mmm...probably best if you DON'T try to imagine that one.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Not so clever....

Today I exhausted my drama queen and then deprived of her midday sleep so that she would go to bed at a decent hour. By 6:30 she was begging for nigh-nigh and by 7:00 she was asleep. YAY! I might finish the grant at a decent hour. WRONG! She was up at 9pm and 10pm and 11pm through to 1am. More fool me.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011


Dealing with government departments is always interesting. They really are lovely, helpful people but their job sometimes prevents them from speaking freely so I am gradually building a collection of what they say and what they mean. Here are some recent examples...

"We're over subscribed and it would not like you to go to the trouble of preparing an application." Means, "We have already spent the money even though the submission deadline is weeks away."

"Um...yes, that is rather obscure. In the past we have usually posted a separate official grant application. That's a very valid enquiry  I'll ring you back."  Means, "@#$%^&! Can't Tenders post standard information?! Now EVERYONE will be ringing up for the forms!"  (note: they are currently amending the website)

"Could you please send your enquiry to the official email address so that you have an answer in writing." means "If I answer that and I get it wrong I'll be in trouble." (Grant guidelines are sometimes deliberately obscure in order to give the grant clerks the flexibility to squeeze through applications which deserve funding but don't quite fit the criteria.)

And my favourite, "I'm afraid I can't disclose that but when the minister announces it next month there won't be any nasty surprises"  means "You got the grant!"

Saturday, April 9, 2011

I never met a carb I didn't like...

Very occasionally I find banana verde at the markets. Today was such a day. I am in heaven.
Chifles y patacones y balles de verde... QUE RICA! 

Saturday, April 2, 2011

But wait, there's more

Skye is teething again...3 eye teeth no less. OMG she is evil. Palming her on Michelle and marking exams at school all Sunday looks better by the minute.

Sucked in again

Since when did, "I need a little help on Saturday" actually mean, "Can you be the soccer referee?"  Obviously I am ignorant of soccer lingo and as a result am now reffing the under 6s. But somehow I think they are getting the worse deal because my team sport prowess resembles an undernourished mushroom.